Congressional Earmarks

The government complains about earmarks - the president against congressional earmarks and congress against presidential earmarks. Both are right and both are wrong. Here are two views i put to poetry.

During his final State of the Union address, Bush announced that he would veto all future appropriations bills that do not cut in half the number and cost of earmarks. He also issued an executive order on Tuesday directing federal agencies to ignore all future earmark requests that are placed into committee reports and not brought to a vote.


Executive Order – No Earmarks

Bush – he is wily. Bush - he is wise.
Bush – he is on to those earmarking guys
In his State of the Union he said (and I note)
They’re putting in things without getting a vote
We’re funding studies on nits, nats and gnomes
And forgetting about all those folks without homes
We are funding pet projects that help select few
And telling the homeless they’ll have to make do
Now in his last years he’s just had his fill
I mean 9000 earmarks worth 7 plus Bil
But Congress ain’t buying his pious remarks
The kettle is black – the tunnel is dark
His records atrocious with earmarks galore
If we had 9,000 he probably had more
We can’t believe that he has the brass
To stand up and question the laws that we pass
But the guy does have brass, you’ll have to give credit
He stood up to Congress on TV and said it
You can ignore all the future earmarks
If they weren’t voted on, then we won’t build the parks
We won’t fund that study on endangered species
We won’t do research on the gas in cow feces
West Virginia won’t get a world class this or thats
And Alaska won’t study a fix for their gnats

But Congress by nature is certainly bound
To find a way under - over - around
So that maybe by next year when Democrats rule
Congress is back with their earmarking tool

Mdailey
01/30/08
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Iowa Earmark

The 2009 Omnibus Appropriations Bill that President Obama recently signed includes an earmark of $1.8 million for the Agriculture Department's Swine Odor and Manure Management Research Center in Ames, Iowa, whose "multidisciplinary research teams generate and integrate knowledge for evaluation and development of new management practices that minimize nutrient excretion, malodorous emissions, and the release of pathogens into the environment as well as have a positive impact on livestock health."

Something stinks in Iowa and it’s not just the cows and swine
It’s this earmark for Ames Iowa that quickly comes to mind
When the common man’s life savings are quickly losing ground
With banks and businesses failing and finally closing down
And unemployment statistics are surely on the rise
We are spending millions (1.8) to study some cow pies
Just to minimize excretions and malodorous emissions
And the release of pathogens in the air and the herds healthy conditions
With bail outs in the billions, millions ain’t that much
But to counter Mother Nature through research is out of touch
I’d rather spend the millions (and I guess it’s just my quirk)
Shoring up the businesses and getting folks back to work

You see, I grew up in the mid-west; grandpa worked at the Stockyard Bank
And when I’d go to visit, I’d complain about the ‘stank’
And Grandpa’d put his arm around me and said let tell you Sunny
That smell is what the farmers call the real smell of money
While the smell is still obnoxious I understood just what he meant
The smell was the smell of hard work, and hard work pays the rent
Let’s not worry about excretions and smells that hit our nose
That’s just the way God planned it; that’s just the way it goes
Let Mother Nature handle this as she has throughout our past
And cows and pigs and all livestock passively pass gas

Mdailey
03/23/09